Tongue Biting

Regular readers know that I'm currently entrenched in a cold war with the Dragon Lady. (sometimes referred to as my mother) She sent me this particularly nasty email, deploring me for how unappreciative I am and how she no longer feels the need to help me (mainly financially, but in other means of support as well I suppose). I canned my initial reaction - anger - and I've been pretty good with not sending her emails along the lines of, "Hey Bitch, Drop Dead." Despite the fact that deep down I probably do miss her, overall I kinda want to punch her in the face. The past few days she's taken to calling me as if nothing has changed, and I'm like, "...the fuck?! I don't want to talk to you. For all I care, we could never talk again, I'd be OK with that. Stop talking to me." She's like, "Yeah, work blah blah blah. And your father, blah blah blah." And she expects me to be sympathetic? Like, bitch, you send me this email that basically says in your eyes my life has amounted to EPIC FAIL, and now you want to be all Lorelai Gilmore about it? Think NOT.


So this morning she called yet again, letting me know that my Godson had been born. (Yay!) And she started going off about how she has strep, and my brother stubbed his toe, and how my father won't help. Usually I'm on her side when it comes to these things, but considering that I now rely on my father for transportation to and from home, I cant' really fault the man for saying, "Fuck you." If anything, I'm jealous I don't have the balls to do the same. During our conversation, at least nine times, I had the overwhelming urge to snap at her, to tell her I didn't care, to tell her my father has the right idea, to tell her that I hate her and I want my car back. But I didn't. I bit my tongue. And I am so proud of myself.

Let's stop for a moment, because at this point, I'm sure at least one of you is appalled at how I can treat my mother with such abject hatred. But really, I learned it from her. If it's one thing my mother is the best at, it's turning so wholly on friends and family. Hell, look at the way she treats her own son. So, no, I don't feel bad about the things I say or the way I feel. Eye for an eye, and whatnot. Please save your bullshit on how an eye for eye leaves the whole world blind.

kthanks.